Sunday, June 18, 2017

But how could you live and have no story to tell?

Okay, so my promise to blog more didn't really go as I planned, but I'm here now.
I've been working like crazy, but I'm gonna have my vacation in 4 days! It feels so weird to think that I don't have to work in 3 weeks, cause I've been working my ass off for over a year now with no vacation.
So my plan number 2 is to carry my camera with me and photograph all the little things I do during my summer. We're gonna go to Budapest next Friday for 4 days and I'm planning to take tons of photos. It's our first small vacation together (okay we once went to Tallinn but it was only for 4 hours or so) so I'm really excited about that. 

But as I mentioned, I still have to work for 4 days and I don't have any cool photos to share with you, so I decided to take photos of my small place.  
I honestly really love living here. I live in Sörnäinen and my place is pretty expensive and pretty small, but the place is just perfect.

Space tourism posters from Aliexpress, Gustav Klimt painting from Ikea and floor lamp 2nd hand (I think it's originally from Clas Ohlson).

One of my favourite things in our place are these space tourism posters. I really love the kind of 70's colour scheme in them and I wish I had more things in yellow, green and orange in here.

Fornasetti pillow cases from Aliexpress.

Table from Ikea, pillow cases from Aliexpress and sofa from Jysk.

I really love the way my sofa looks, it's really pretty and just the style I want, but it's the most uncomfortable thing ever. 

I'm gonna wash my windows any day now. Probably.

My newest obsession are these Korean sheet masks. They're just that tiny luxury that I need during my workdays.

Watching Skam. I'm so in love with Sana and I've liked season 4 far more than the other seasons.

Poster & lamp from Ikea.

I have a fairly large kitchen for a place this small, but I'm not complaining. 

Poster from Aliexpress.

As you can see, I have tons of decoration items from Aliexpress. I'm just not ready to spend a lot of money on things like that. 

Rug from Ikea.

My skin care items and other stuff. My bathroom is really small and my floor is full of shampoos, soaps and other stuff. 

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self

While I'm writing this, I'm still not sure if I'm gonna end up publishing this post or not. 
I ended up reading my old blog posts and I kind of miss having someone to tell my pointless little things to and I miss taking photos so much. Since my latest blog post last year I'm pretty sure I haven't touched my camera not even once and it really saddens me and the solution to that is really simple - just take photos and post them here. Nothing fancy, just the way you used to do. I'm not gonna stress about having a blog, I'm just gonna try it out once again and see how I feel about it.

What has changed in my life since last August? Pretty much everything.

I'm not in a relationship anymore. I was together with B for almost 3 years and it wasn't that something awful happened, it was how it always is - I didn't feel like I was in the right place or with the right person anymore. We're still really good friends and I'm really grateful of that.

So, because of that, I live alone now. For the first time ever in my life. And guess what? It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would. It feels pretty great to be able to cope with all this real adult stuff (it's not all fun, but it's important for me to know that I am able to keep myself alive and do the boring necessary stuff without losing my place or getting my electricity cut off). I love my little place so much and it all feels so right and it all feels like home. When I think of home I feel like I'm just in the right place I need to be in right now. Yeah, living in the city can be pretty expensive, but it's so worth it and I don't think I could find a better place for me at this price. I love it how I can go to a bar and walk home from there really easily. I love it that if I feel alone I can just step out of my place and I'm surrounded by people. I love it that it usually takes me around 10 minutes to leave my place, go grocery shopping and be back at my place. I just love everything about this and for the first time in a long time I am truly happy about where I am and where I am heading with my life. It's not all perfect, I still don't know how to manage my money (I have 12€ in my bank account and I'm getting paid next week) but I'm working on it and I'm gonna do great. Just watch me, I'm gonna make it.

I'm much more stable than I used to be and I'm not just saying that and feeling like a wreck 5 minutes later like I used to do. I'm actually doing pretty ok with my mental health. I'm off my medication for good and I don't feel depressed anymore. I do still feel sadness, and sometimes it feels like everything is falling down, but this time I know how to stand up and get on with it. It's ok to feel sad and it's ok that not everything is perfect, but it's important to know that those feelings are only temporary. Everything is up to you, you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. Don't depend on other people with that. If you are unhappy about your life, no one else is going to change that for you.

I used to be unhappy and that made me buy a lot of things I didn't need. Like for many, shopping was my therapy. I bought all this stupid shit, mostly clothing I was never gonna use, make up products that didn't suit my face at all and all this pointless crap from flea markets ''cause it's cheap, so why not''. And those things didn't make me happy for more than a few days. And after getting tired of it, I bought more stuff. It was never going to end, cause the world was full of things I didn't need, but did need. After getting my life in a better order, I noticed that I wasn't attached to materialistic things like I used to anymore. Yeah, buying a jacket that looks good on me still feels really great, but I don't need 10 of those jackets. 

After breaking up with B I was in a really shitty place in my life, I thought that I could never handle being alone. And then Tinder came into my life. It was fun for a while, I'm not gonna deny it, but the way I was dating (I spent almost all my free time with new people and new dates) wasn't really healthy. And I didn't realise that shitty company is not gonna replace good company, it's only going to  take me farther away from it. So if you break up, just be gentle with yourself and just take some time. And I'm not gonna say Tinder is all bad, after all those dates I actually met someone worth mentioning for. So I'm obviously grateful, I'm pretty sure we would've never met without Tinder, but if I had another chance, I wouldn't be so desperate and sad about being alone. Being alone can be really amazing, once you get used to it. I'm still not 100% used to it, but like I said, I'm getting there. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

If my life was a film, I'd have walked out by now

Hi and welcome back. I seem to write to you only when something special happens, but I want that to change. I want to be able to write to you when something ordinary happens, when I see a good movie I want to share with you, when I finish a bad book I want to warn you about, when I find my favourite lipstick on sale or when everything else feels miserable and I want to share it with someone. 

 I visited Berlin a few days ago but I took my wrong camera lens with me and I couldn't take any proper photos for you to share. But I'm not too sad about that since I pretty much only went there to shop. And I bought a lot of things. When I arrived there I only had my pyjamas, my underwear and some makeup with me. When I left, my suitcase was so full and it weight 19.8kg.

Pack of tiny Nutella Jars for 10,90e from the airport

These Nutella jars were so cute that I just had to get them. I'm planning to store the jars when they're empty and use them for storage or something.

I'm a big fan of everything sickly sweet, so I had to get these two bottles when I saw them. I don't drink that much these days, but I have to find some excuse to drink these in near future.

10€ from Primark

One of my favourite things I bought is this metal arrow light thingy. You're supposed to put some batteries in it, but I like it this way too. It fits perfectly in my bookshelf!

4€ from Primark

A candle in a mug, how cute is that?! I've seen people doing these candles on their own, but I have to admit that I'm not a DIY type person, I'm too lazy to create things with my own hands.
I also got some other candles and I don't know why I keep buying them, cause I have a nosy cat and I can't burn any candles in our home because I'm scared she'll burn herself.

Ring holder for 6€ from Primark and blush set for 10,90€ from Kiko

I saw this amazing unicorn ring holder online and I crossed my fingers and really hoped that I would be able to find it. I was also really scared that it would break in my suitcase, but it was worth the risk.

This duo blush is my only make up related thing I bought during my trip, which really surprised me cause I'm usually pretty make up obsessed. 

Products for 2-5€ from Rossmann and Dm

Instead I bought some skincare products and some shampoos and such. These products were super cheap but it was kind of a pain in the ass to try and figure what product is what, since everything was in German. I used my common sense and I'm pretty sure I know what to use in which body part and I don't end up putting massage oil in my eye.
I've already used the shampoo, conditioner and eye makeup remover a few times and I'm really impressed so far.

Tiny beauty blenders for 3€ from Rossmann

These tiny beauty blenders are so cute! They're pretty hard compared to my original blender, but they are really handy when using concealer. 

Fur keyring for 4€ from Primark

This keyring has a mirror inside it and I was super excited about it until I found out that the magnet of it is really weak and the mirror keeps opening and closing. I have to find out if there's anything I can do about it since it would be really handy to carry around.

Fake septum rings for 3€ from Primark

I still have my septum pierced but I still like wearing fake ones cause they are so easy to wear and take off. Most of the fake septum I've seen are super big, but these are really tiny and pretty.

Sneakers for 55€ from Adidas Neo

I've been looking for some comfy yet cheap sneakers for a long time and I finally found a pair!
I'm pretty sure Adidas Neo is a cheaper brand under Adidas cause these shoes were so incredibly cheap. They seem really good quality and they are so comfortable.

Sweatpants 15€ and sweatshirt around 12€ from Primark

I really love all the NASA clothing Primark has.

Floral Adidas top for 15€ from TK Maxx, NASA top for 7€ from Primark and sport bra for 5€ from Primark

I was really stoked to find that Adidas top since it was so cheap and it's an older model. I've never visited TK Maxx, but they had all this sale stuff and everything was really cheap.

I Want to Believe shirt for 15€ from TK Maxx (By a brand called Dead Meat), Bowie shirt for 1€ from Primark and t-shirt with a slip top attached to it for 11€ from Primark

Bomber jacket for 20€ from Primark

I know pretty much everyone owns this kind of jacket, but it looks so good with everything and it's really comfy. And with that price I just couldn't leave it behind. I've wanted one in this deep maroon red, but I don't want to spend 40€ on a jacket when I can find one for half the price.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The secret to being alone is to organize your time; to develop habits and routines and gradually elevate their importance to where they seem almost like normal, healthy activities

Hi there!
I don't know how you found your way here, since I've decided not to advertise my blog for now.
The first words are always the hardest, no matter what I'm writing. I've wanted to write something. Apart from work and texting and Facebook I write nothing. I don't see myself as a good writer, cause I'm not, and writing isn't my passion, but I do miss writing to no one in particular. 

So what do I do these days? I work and study. It's really nice to know that I'm capable of doing so, cause at times thinking about future used to feel hopeless.

What am I going to blog about? It may come as a surprise, but I don't watch movies that often anymore. I just don't have the time and when I do I'm just used to doing something else.
Instead I read. I don't read as often as I'd like, cause work and school take most of my time, but I read as much as I can. So you will hear my book recommendations and books I don't recommend. Just books in general.
I also like everything beauty related, mostly makeup and skin care products. When I gained weight I kind of let myself go when it came to fashion. I just felt really ugly and bloated and I still kind of do, even when I've lost 6 kg. But then I found beauty. I didn't have to be skinny to look good when it came to beauty products. I might not be good at doing my makeup, but it is something I enjoy.

For my first post in ages I'm gonna show you some of my favourite beauty products (I'm already making a post of all the books I've read recently, so stay tuned!)

I just ordered some things from Beauty Bay. I had my previous Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade for months and I never run out, there's tons of product left. I just dyed my hair brown (ok, it looks really black) so I couldn't use my old blonde dipbrow anymore. If you've been looking at this product but were unsure because of the price, I advice you to just buy it. You won't have to buy a new one in a long time.
I've been using Gerard Cosmetic's Hydra Matte liquid lipstick in color Serenity and I absolutely adore it. It can be a bit drying on the lip, so I decided to try some of their lipsticks. I got the shades 1995 and French Toast.

I also ordered these Mario Badescu skin care products. I've heard so many great things about these but I've never tried any. I'm going to try and use these daily and maybe tell you more about them then. 

And here are some of my favourite makeup products at the moment. I've been really into pink shades in my eyelids, lips and cheeks.

Morphe 35T palette, Milani blush in Romantic Rose, Mary-Lou Manizer highlighter, Colourpop Ultra Matte Lips in Beeper and Solow, Lavera Glossy Lips in Sweet Melon, Gerard Cosmetics Hydra Matte liquid lipstick in Serenity, NYX Pore Filler primer, NYX Jumbo eye pencil in Yogurt, NYX Vivid Bright liquid eyeliner in Vivid Sapphire, NYX white liquid eyeliner and NYX Micro Brow pencil.

These are my favourite makeup brushes (I forgot to shoot Anastasia's brow brush #12, it is the best brush to use with Dipbrow Pomade). I've been drooling over Zoeva's vegan brush set, but it's pretty expensive and I can live without it (for now).

I really like Real Technique's and EcoTools brushes. They're very affordable and they're just perfect for my use.

I love these face creams from Mossa. They smell heavenly and they're very gentle (my face is super dry and red so I can't use anything too strong). I'm using day cream that smells like blueberries and night cream that smells like blackberry.

I ordered Queen Helene's peel-off masque and scrub from iHerb. I've loved both of them and they were super cheap too!

I've never used eye cream in my life. I think I convinced myself the same way I convinced myself that I don't need to wash my makeup off every night. My skin isn't going to stay young forever. I really like this Lavera eye cream. It has this pearl color that conceals dark under eye circles. And it smells amazing.

I've been using castor oil for a few weeks now and I can already see new lashes and hair on my brows growing.

I bought this Eau Roma Water from Lush a few months ago and I really love it. It smells amazing and it soothes my skins.

Extensions on left, natural hair on right.

I got these amazing Irresistible Me (click!) hair extensions ages ago, but I just wanted to show you them. I just recently dyed my hair back to brown (I really liked my kind of orange hair, but it was almost impossible to keep it good looking, it always started to fade at some places and my dark roots looked horrible) so I'm going to try and dye these extensions too. I'm going to show them to you as soon as I do it.

These are the thickest clip-on extensions I've ever seen. They're a bit on the expensive side, but they're so worth it. I can't even put every piece in my hair cause there's no room for them. I chose the silky touch extensions in color Silky Golden Blonde (#14) 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The book you don’t read won’t help

Someone on Instagram asked me to do a post about my favourite book and movie quotes. The idea was so great that I decided to do it right away! I'm going to do a post like this about my favourite movie quotes too very soon. Thank you for the idea!

I decided to write them by hand to give them a personal feel. I hope that you can properly see them and I hope that there's not too many typos.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo

I've been trying to ditch my medication for good and I feel absolute shit because of that.
I've already been using this specific medication for a couple of years (I've used it for my depression and social anxieties) but I finally feel like I could probably be fine without them, or I'd like to just try.

When I first started to use these meds I didn't really know anything about them, I just knew what they were going to help me with. They were a big help, there's no way I can deny that, but I'm also really horrified about the withdrawals. 
I've tried to lower my portions but that's really no help. 

It's crazy, I feel mostly okay inside my head, but physically I'm a wreck.
I feel really dizzy all the time, like I'm gonna faint or fall down. Sometimes I feel like my feet are sinking through the floor when I'm walking. My mind is a mess, I seem to drift away, I don't understand that people are talking to me but I'm not thinking anything either, I'm just not there.
Because of all this mess, I'm a bitch. I get irritated SO easily, I'm rude, I yell, I get angry. And I hate this the most.

If any of you have gotten rid of your medication (that causes withdrawals) for good, how the fuck did you honestly do it?

But yeah, sorry about me opening up so much, I have a one TV show to share with you.

My new favourite show is Mr. Robot. This show follows a young computer programmer who suffers from social anxiety disorder. It might seem kind of boring, especially if you're not into hacking and nerdy stuff, but trust me on this one. I've only seen like 3 episodes (there's 9 episodes so far and the last episode of this season is coming in 4 days) but I know that I'm gonna love it. I don't know what I can say about it without ruining the experience for you. I knew basically nothing about the show, what caught me was the rating of it on IMDB (9,1). I'm not the only one who's seen a lot of similarities with this and Fight Club (they even play Where Is My Mind by Pixies at some point of the show) and that's a good thing. 

The only actor that probably everyone will know is Christian Slater. The young cast is pretty unknown and I love that about it. I'm just pretty sick of seeing the same faces all over again.

The main character Elliot, the hacker dude, is so adorable in a weird way. He has these big bug eyes and has a stupid grin on his face all the time.

I don't know what to say, I'm probably not the best person to talk about this show since I've only seen like 1/3 of it, but I just got to share it with you. Really, check it out, even my introduction isn't that good. 

I also wanted to share my hair with you, I'm kind of blonde! Most of you probably already 
follow my Instagram, but if you don't, here's my hair!
I feel pretty great with it actually. I've never had anything like this, I've always had fairly dark hair. 
This hair color happened because I was supposed to dye my hair green (I don't know what I was thinking, I would've looked like a 14-year-old emo girl) so we had to lighten my hair. I kind of fell in love with it, and now I really love it. 
Some of you probably think that dark hair suits me better, but I also love the change of it. I've been a brunette for so long that it became boring,

Friday, July 24, 2015

Punctuation, is? fun!

Some of my favourite things of the week

Coloring books for adults. I only got these books today but I've been already coloring for hours. It's really relaxing and fun.

iZombie. I discovered this show a couple of weeks ago and it is plain awesome. I've never been a fan of zombies., I don't read or watch shows/movies about them, but I got hooked instantly. 

After being turned into a zombie, Liv Moore finds a job in a morgue, since it is possibly the easiest way to find brains to eat. Every time Liv eats someone's brains, she gets the victim's memories and habits. She also gets flashbacks and this way she helps the police to solve their murders. 

I don't want to reveal too much, but you should definitely check it out.

Flowers for Algernon. This became one of my favourite books almost instantly. I bought this book randomly when I needed a book to read at a bus. I remembered that I heard the name somewhere but I didn't know anything else about it.

The book tells a story of Charlie Gordon, a man who has an IQ of 68. Charlie gets the change to have his intelligence increase by a surgery. He's the very first human to undergo the procedure, they did the same surgery to a mouse named Algernon and the surgery was successful. I don't want to ruin the book for you, so if you're interested, don't read anything about it and just read the book. It's very heartbreaking, sweet and sad story, I loved everything about it.

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